


The Hope to be a Better Person

by Lilification



Category: Library of Ruina (Video Game), Lobotomy Corporation (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Sweat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:13:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28795950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilification/pseuds/Lilification
Summary: Indulgent Hod/BinahThis is not going to stay anywhere near this tame. That is not only a promise, but a threat.
Relationships: Binah/Hod (Lobotomy Corporation)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

Binah brought the porcelain cup to her lips and sipped slowly at the tea inside, all the while eyeing her unusual visitor. Hod sat across from the former Arbiter, her eyes fixed on the full teacup before her, as if unable to look her host in the eyes. The two of them had been like this for several minutes now. Hod approached Binah and asked if she could discuss something with her, Binah invited her into her office for tea. And then, nothing but awkward silence. Binah set her cup down on the saucer, the clink of ceramic on ceramic signaling an end to the silence.

“While I don’t mind having tea with a guest, it doesn’t seem fair that I’m the only one who seems to be enjoying it,” Binah commented, her gaze moving to Hod’s full teacup. “Surely you haven’t come to me just to watch your tea get cold.”

Hod flinched a bit as Binah spoke, but straightened quickly, turning her gaze from the teacup to Binah. She did her best to look determined and fierce, but under Binah’s cold gaze Hod still wavered. “I want you to train me,” she said simply, taking care not to stumble over her words. Binah raised an eyebrow, then grinned.

“You know we aren’t exactly friends or even allies for that matter, correct?” Binah asked as she picked up her cup and took another sip. Her lips remained curled in an amused smile as she watched Hod maintain the serious, determined gaze. “I’ll need a little more information than that if you want to convince me that training someone who could end up my enemy at the end of all of this is a worthwhile endeavor.”

For a fraction of a second, Hod wavered. Perhaps she expected Binah to comply simply because they were all helping Angela - for now at least. As long as Angela upheld her part of the bargain. Binah’s motivations were still a mystery to most of them, but Hod knew well enough that in the beginning their motivations weren’t compatible. Perhaps that was still true. Maybe this conversation was for naught, however…

“I need to get stronger,” Hod murmured, her determination weakening for just a moment as she decided to put all of her chips forward and open up about why she wanted Binah’s help. “I have gotten stronger, I’m not the weak little girl I once was, but… But I’m still stuck relying on others, and watching their backs as they protect me.” One image remained stuck in Hod’s mind. Gebura. It’d be hard to deny that Gebura was the strongest of them apart from Binah. “I do not want to stand behind someone as they fight for what we believe in. I want to stand by their side and fight with them.”

A long silence followed Hod’s declaration, Binah’s gaze going between her own tea and back up at Hod as she deliberated the girl’s ambitions. Hod stayed practically rigid, having anted her own emotions in this gamble. The amused grin on Binah’s face had even faded, and Hod found herself wondering if her statement had upset the former Arbiter. Binah took one last sip of her tea and placed the empty cup on its saucer, the clink of ceramics breaking the silence first.

“I can accept that reasoning,” Binah said simply, and Hod breathed a sigh of relief. She couldn’t let herself falter yet though, so she remained still while Binah spoke again. “There is still one thing I would like to hear from you, however.”

Hod suppressed the urge to flinch again, instead trying to remain resolute and calm even under Binah’s overwhelming presence. Raising her own teacup, Hod took a sip as she awaited Binah’s final demand.

“What is in it for me?” Binah asked, her gaze making Hod feel small. It was different from before, Binah’s stare putting a pressure on Hod that felt almost suffocating. “I understand and accept why you want me to train you though you may end up being my enemy, however that doesn’t mean that I’ll do it free of charge.”

Hod swallowed, though even the action felt difficult under Binah’s gaze. Was being able to paralyze one’s enemies with a look the power of someone who used to be an Arbiter? Hod assumed that was the case, and tried to calm her nerves using the bitter taste of the black tea she’d been served. She knew not what she could offer Binah in exchange for her training, but there was one more gamble she could make. Hod steeled herself.

“Name your price.”

There was a moment where Hod could have sworn that Binah’s eyes widened at her answer, but the serious, straight face the Patron of Philosophy wore gave way to an amused smirk, so mischievous that it bordered on malicious.

“In exchange for training you, I would have you be my companion,” Binah declared, and Hod’s eyes widened at the suggestion. “If you would offer yourself to me, I would devote myself to training you in kind.”

The silence that followed was more oppressive than Binah’s gaze. The pressure that her price had put on Hod’s shoulders made the Patron of Literature feel like she might be crushed under it. She stared at her tea. It had long since ceased to steam, and on the glossy brown surface Hod could see her own reflection. She thought of Gebura, and the desire to stand beside her. Would accepting Binah’s offer be a betrayal of the feelings in her heart, Hod wondered. She tried to clear the fog that the pressure put in her mind, and took another breath. Her feelings weren’t just some infatuation, she told herself. They could endure this.

Hod brought her teacup to her lips and finished the lukewarm tea before setting the cup down on its saucer. “I accept your terms. I, Hod, Patron Librarian of Literature and former Head of Training offer myself to you, please take care of me.”

In the back of her mind, Hod murmured an apology to her feelings and to Gebura.

Binah’s smirk widened. “I look forward to working with you,  _ darling. _ ”


	2. Chapter 2

A small pillar whistled past Hod’s head and crashed into a stack of books behind her, but she didn’t have the luxury of being relieved it missed. Her breath was ragged already, she thought she’d gotten stronger since the library gave her a more active role in combat, but against an opponent like Binah she felt like she was as weak as when she started.

Between the Librarians there were maybe ten meters. The rules were simple. Binah would not move, but she would defend herself. Hod would have to overcome these defenses and simply touch Binah. She didn’t need to land an attack, the only thing that mattered was a split second of contact. This was not nearly as simple a task as Hod had assumed it would be, and perhaps it was because of that arrogant thought that instead of gaining ground she was steadily losing it.

“Are you taking this seriously?” Binah asked as she sent another pillar towards Hod. None of Binah’s attacks ever did more than graze Hod, but it was less a testament to the latter’s skill and more the former’s ability to intentionally miss the target. “How do you think you could ever stand beside the Red Mist when you can’t even handle me at the most basic level?”

Hod grit her teeth. She knew Binah’s speech well at this point because it was regularly asked of her as they trained. Any time Hod misstepped, any time she was pushed back, any time she hesitated in the face of an attack, Binah questioned her. Even with her usually calm disposition, it infuriated Hod. Of course she was serious. She wanted to prove herself to Gebura. She wanted to be relied on by those she led. Those were her motivations at the start, and they remained motivations even as Binah trained her for weeks on end. They were joined by a new desire. One that pushed itself gradually past Hod’s other motivations. She wanted Binah to acknowledge her.

Binah launched another pillar at Hod. This was how it usually ended, with one last attack, slower than the others but whose aim was to actually hit instead of simply miss by a hair’s breadth. Without fail, an exhausted Hod would find that pillar colliding with her, and Binah would declare the day’s training done. However, Hod shifted her footing and pushed herself quickly to the side. She was too focused on avoiding it and using the opportunity to gain a couple meters to notice Binah’s eyes briefly widening, and the smirk that formed on the woman’s face.

“Good, so you are improving,” Binah murmured in a quiet voice. The sound Hod’s own breathing drowned out the praise, and she still charged at Binah with her weapon drawn. Just because she dodged one attack did not mean that wasn’t over.

Hod had closed four of the ten meters between them in her rush, but before she could get any closer it felt like something snatched her in place. Phantom chains, wrapped around her legs and her waist, held her back and prevented her from moving any further. Anger burned in her, and she cried out as she tried to fight against it.

“That’s enough for today,” Binah said as she approached the infuriated Hod, who stared back at her, red faced and panting to catch her breath. It didn’t occur to her that this time the declaration of the end of their training was said with amusement rather than disappointment.

And like that, she felt like her energy left her. All of the adrenaline she’d built up in that last moment felt like it was sucked away from her by Binah’s words. Even if the Head of Philosophy was amused, Hod felt more upset than anything. She’d finally begun to close the gap, if it wasn’t for that cheap trick Binah pulled-

“There are no cheap tricks in combat,” Binah said as she placed a hand on Hod’s head. The phantom chains dissolved into nothing, and the Head of Literature collapsed onto her knees. “The Red Mist reminded me of that some time ago herself. It’s something I should’ve known, but I took it for granted once and now I have to live with the consequences of that mistake.”

It took Hod a moment to process what Binah was talking about, but once it clicked she nodded. She’d heard the story before. Gebura - or rather Kali, the Red Mist - stood against an Arbiter of the Head. The fight could be considered a draw - even while Garion had survived, it was only just barely and she was forced into becoming one of the Sephirah, Binah. Kali would eventually become Gebura. They remained rivals since. The wistful way she talked about that moment made Hod’s heart feel heavy. She didn’t know which of the two she was jealous of though and that’s what ate at her the most.

Hod put the thoughts behind her as Binah helped her up. While having been forced back through most of their session, glancing and grazing blows left scrapes and bruises on Hod’s flesh. Binah would lead Hod back to her office, and prepared to take care of her.

Hod sat down on a stool Binah provided and breathed a sigh. Several sessions had passed before she had gotten used to this part. Binah’s hands exploring her body, fingertips undoing the ribbon at her breast, moving down to undo the buttons of her coat. The tears and tattered cloth didn’t need to be repaired personally, it was something that the Library took care of itself, and normally the injuries would vanish in a short time as well, but Binah seemed to savor them after each of their sessions.

Even after she’d gotten used to the attention, another matter still made Hod’s cheeks flush pink as she shrugged off the coat, and the blouse she wore beneath was exposed. The white cloth clung to her skin, damp with sweat. What was more embarrassing wasn’t the sweat, but rather Binah’s reaction. Kneeling behind Hod, Binah moved her hands to start undoing the buttons of the Head of Literature’s blouse. While her fingertips worked, Binah’s lips found the skin of Hod’s neck, a gentle kiss on the salty flesh, and a sensual lick.

Hod shivered at the sensation, a pleased noise stifled against a bit lip. “Too eager to wait until I’m undressed?” she asked, and Binah chuckled.

“I am merely making the most of my time,” Binah assured her, backing away to peel the damp shirt from Hod’s chest. With most of her chest exposed, the cooler air gave Hod goosebumps. Having set Hod’s shirt aside, Binah’s fingers now worked on her bra, the only thing left preventing Hod from being completely topless.

Even while Hod was still seated, Binah’s fingers moved to the waist of her skirt. The button and zipper came undone, and Binah urged Hod to stand. Once on her feet, the skirt crumpled around Hod’s ankles and she stepped out of it, turning to look up at Binah. All that was left were the white tights Hod wore, but Binah’s attention turned briefly from undressing her, instead a hand moving to her chin to urge her up. Hod closed her eyes and puckered her lips. She wanted to show some form of assertiveness, but even as she stood on the tips of her toes, she couldn’t quite reach Binah’s lips with her own.

“You really are quite cute,” Binah whispered, leaning in herself to meet Hod’s advance, her lips pressing against the smaller woman’s. Binah’s lips were warm and as they were parted so their tongues could meet, and Hod tasted the saltiness of her own sweat. And it was delicious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The abrupt ending is because I hit writer's block again and decided to just run with a sloppy cut-off rather than not putting any more content out at all. I love you, have a nice day.


End file.
